Day 10: Rest with a Heavy Heart

Today is Monday. We don’t have anything specific planned to do. Several of us decided we would go shopping this morning and after lunch I thought I would go work with Hira and hang out with Sapna, Laxmi and Karishma.

I woke up this morning to Rajan’s knock on the door with our morning tea. I think I am completely adjusted to the time over here because I sleep through the sirens calling the Hindus to worship. It is nice sleeping in in the morning, but I am still having a little trouble going to sleep at night. I think there are two factors contributing to my inability to fall asleep. One, I am getting a bit of a sinus infection from the mildew and molds in our room. And two, I can’t stop thinking about everything that has happened here so far.

The Room: Doris and I talked about moving to a dryer room. The risk associated with changing rooms is moving to one that has bed bugs. Marta had them in hers. So, we decided to stay in the room we are currently in and I'm going to continue taking Benadryl at night.

Thinking: I have loads of stuff on my mind and I just can’t settle it. I am trying to process everything I am learning about caring for horses in India, the equine assisted rehabilitation program, the relationships I’m developing with the rescued girls, and learning about what they have gone through. I am a thinker by nature and I tend to have to have things sorted out before I can sleep.

Shopping: We shopped for some authentic Indian clothes to bring back to the U.S. with us. I got some nice tops and a whole outfit to wear to Mala's surprise birthday party. The clothes are beautiful. So many pretty colors.

- Heading out to the shopping district in town; there is no such thing as one-stop shopping here, see all the little individual shops in the background?-

-Here we are trying on some clothes in one of the shops. There is no dressing room, so we just tried the tops on over our clothes. You
also don't get things out on your own. You tell the person behind the counter what you are looking for and they pull out things you might be interested in. It is very difficult to just browse here.

- There was no trying to blend in here. We were some of the very few foreigners here, but everyone was very nice and welcoming in Ooty. -

By lunch I was feeling pretty worn out. We went for lunch and I decided to go back to Montauban for a nap instead of heading to Roja. But I wasn't able to sleep; again too much on my mind. I was worried about how to continue the horsemanship lessons with Hira acting up. He charged me and reared up yesterday. As he is recovering from his illnesses, he is feeling a lot spunkier and is ready to challenge anyone who won't comply with HIS ideas. So, when I got between him and his feed (even though he wasn't eating it at the time) and he charged at me and reared up. If he doesn't shape up we will have some big issues to deal with so that he is safe for the inexperienced people that will be handling him. Part of Hira's issue is that he is a stallion, which means he still has the attitude of wanting to be alpha and get his way. I wanted to go out to work on his training today, but I am exhausted.

Mala's Party: Mala's birthday party was a blast. We had dinner in one of the local hotels restaurants. It was a mix of Indian food and American food. Here are some pictures.

- It wasn’t enough for me to just wear Indian dress, I had to act the part too. So, Sapna, Maria and Laxmi (not pictured) fixed my shawl so that I was wearing it properly and Sapna gave me her bracelets. My hands are much bigger than Sapna’s so putting on the bracelets was difficult, but Maria and Sapna managed to smush my hand and pull them on. –

- Here is the result. –

- Doris and Angie sharing some Indian food. –

- Cathy sharing about her daughter, Mala, and what she has means to her. It was a day to celebrate Mala's life. -

Day 9: A Quiet Day

Today we are taking a break from the main program. This means we get to do what we want. Some have gone shopping. Angela left for Combaitore to meet some friends who now live in India. Angie, Ginny and Cathy went to look for a place to host the surprise birthday party for Mala. Shhhh... don't tell Mala.

The day was pretty quiet. I went to hang out at Roja with Marta, Sapna, Laxmi and Karishma. We played a game that involves flicking wooden coins at colored wooden coins to try to get them in the pockets at the corners of the board. My fingers were bruised by the end of the game. When I mentioned that my fingers hurt, all laughed at me and told me I was flicking the coin wrong. Why didn't I ask earlier how to flick the coin?

Oh well. Then we made some bracelets, listened to popular Hindi pop music.

Laxmi opened up to Marta and me about some her past abuses in the brothels. My heart just broke to hear how as a young girl she was so violated. How can people do this to a child!!!

Day 8: Leading & The Good Shepherd

It is SATURDAY. I have been in India for one full week.

We had a blast today. It was packed with things to do.

Morning

Doris, Marta, Mala and I went to Roja to teach Sapna, Laxmi, Karishma, Roji, Mala's kids and Becca's kids how to safely lead horses. Becca and her husband Glenn also work for Freedom Firm.

Everyone grabbed a partner and one of the beautiful donated rope halters and leads. We learned how to properly hold the rope and lead our horse (human partner). Once everyone got good at leading each other, we practiced with Hira, the pony.

- Sapna practicing haltering Hira -

Angie, Angela, Ginny and Cathy did some errands and clothes shopping.

The Market

After our time with the horse, Doris and I went with Sapna and Roji to the market to buy food for our dinner. Tonight we are going to learn how to make an authentic Indian meal. I think we are going to make Dahl and chicken marsala.

The market was quite an experience. Everything is bought from separate little stands. The meat "department" is one little row of butchers. You don't want to buy meat that has already been prepared because you don't know how long it has been sitting out with flies and birds landing on it. So you pick out your live animal, in our case chickens and have the butcher prepare it. Typically you have to stay and watch them kill and prepare the chicken through the whole process to make sure they don't switch it out with one of the bad chickens. I watched part of the process, gotta get the full experience, but Roji and Sapna have a good relationship with their butcher and trust him, so we left to finish our shopping. Relationships are key in India. It is a very relational culture.

We finished purchasing the need fruits and vegetables and Doris and snapped a lot of pictures. It was so different from shopping in a grocery store in the U.S. I have seen markets like these on TV, but to actually be in one and buying my dinner here... what an experience. It is so easy to take for granted what we have in the U.S. AND to think I've been disgusted before by a few bugs here or there... bugs and flies are ALL OVER the food here, and I didn't die.

- our chickens are the live ones in the cage -

- our chicken being prepared -

- Supna buying our veggies -

Lunch

Everyone met for lunch at Hidrabad Pariani. It was a fun meal. Mala and Becca have been developing a relationship with the restaurant owner, so we eat here often.

- we squeezed into the booths -

The Good Shepherd

After lunch some of us headed off to The Good Shepherd which is a private Indian boarding school to check out their horse stable. I wanted to continue learning about caring for horses in India. We met with the stable manager, vet and trainer. The girls from Roja were so excited to be able to go with us. They were so excited about the paddock boots that were donated they didn't even care what size they were.
Most of their horses at Good Shepherd are retired race horses, but some are Indian ponies and Australian ponies. They were very helpful. There was a break in the rain and the stable manager offered to let us have rides on some of the horses. This was Sapna, Laxmi and Karishma's first ride on a horse. They had a BLAST. The men at the stable were VERY generous. We couldn't have asked for anything better for the day.

I was so thankful that the rescued girls and Supna got to ride. What a treat.

- Supna petting some of the riding school's horses -

- Laxmi making friends with another school horse -

- Doris meeting a friendly horse -

- Laxmi's first ride on a horse -

- Supna riding one of the Australian ponies -

- me (Molly) riding the Australian pony -

Cooking Dinner
Later that afternoon we went back to Roja for our cooking lessons. It was fun. The only thing that made cooking difficult was in planning we forgot that the electricity in the city gets turned off every Saturday from 10am to 5pm. Once the power came back on we were able to finish the preparations for the meal and ate it. There was a brief moment when I was eating my chicken marsala that I remembered I had seen this chicken alive earlier today... this is the way life is here.

After Dinner

We watched a movie and had papaya for desert. The movie was supposed to be in Hindi, but it turned out to be in another Indian dialect which Laxmi and Karishma could understand a little, but they could not translate it.

Conclusion and Note on Health
Today was FUN and eventful. A very enjoyable day.

I have been fortunate so far as I have not gotten sick. Ginny as had a little bit of an upset stomach ever since we have gotten here and Angela has for the last 2 days. I hope they get better soon.

Day 7: Object Lessons

Today we woke to an overcast day. At breakfast Cathy told me that Hira, the pony, wasn't eating. Doris, Mertha and I went straight out to Roja to check on the little guy. We caught a rickshaw just outside the gate of the place we are staying.

We determined that Hira had colic, which means he had some sort of digestive upset which is typically a impaction (hay and feed compacting together due to a lack of water or some other stress; to be blunt it is like serious constipation). This can be serious in horses as they have over 100 feet of intestines and it can be very difficult to soften the impaction and get it to pass.

The first thing you do when a horse is colicing is start walking him. This help shake things up and hopefully if the get the impaction moving agian.

Learning how to deal with colic was not on the agenda for the day, but we had planned on picking up trash in Hira's pasture. We brought him down to the pasture with us and one person contiually walked him while everyone else picked up trash.

Trash is everywhere. There are no trash services here, so most people throw their trash out back. Very different from the U.S.

- Here I am talking to the vet about Hira -

Object Lesson 1: Eatting Trash

As Hira was walking he finally passed some manure!!! This is exciting because things are moving inside him again. This will sound funny to all the non-horse people, but I noticed that his manure didn't look normal. I picked up a stick and pooked through the pile. My proding discovered that a plastic bag, like the plastic grocery sack you get at Publix, had pass through his system. THIS was what caused the colic. I picked up the bag; using the stick of course and got everyone together.

THIS is why we want to keep the trash picked out of Hira's pasture. When he eats trash it makes him sick! Aaahhhh.... were the responses. The trash picking up efforts continued.

No way I could have planned this lesson, but it was perfect.

Object Lesson 2: Forgiveness

The vet came to give Hira some pain killers so the he could complete his recovery from colic just after lunch.


After the vet left we gathered together with the Freedom Firm staff and rescued girls for a group discussions. Doris shared about the power of forgiveness. She demonstrated how holding onto the hate for those who have hurt us keeps us in bondage to that pain. Forgiving the brothel keepers is an important part of moving on and experiencing healing.


Of course this is easier said than done. Sometimes we, the rescued girls and even me, need help forgiving people who have hurt us, no matter how serious the wounds.

- Doris demonstrates how not forgiving can bind us and prevent healing by wrapping Angela in rope for everything she has not forgiven others for. This makes her heart black. -

It was a Good day.

Day 6: Thursday

Hurray!!! I actually slept through the first call, so I didn't wake up until 6 AM.

After breakfast we headed over to Roja. I picked up the bin of grooming tools that everyone donated, for today we are to learn about grooming horses.

My plan is to teach everyone how to use the different curries and brushes and then we'll practice on each other. Then if the clouds will hold their rain in a little longer we'll practice on Hira. Hopefully I'll get to tell you how it goes.

-- Recap of the Day --

In our group conversations this morning the question came up about why bad things happen to people and good people for that matter. What an important question that needs to be answered in the hearts of those who have been so violated.

Lunch was brought to the house and we enjoyed another wonderful meal. I learned that there is technique to eating with your hands. At least if you don't want to be covered to the elbow with your supper by the end of the meal.

- Feni, Supna and Debbie demonstrating a better way to eat -

WOW!!! I couldn't have planned what happened today in our time learning about grooming horses. Being flexible is the key here. Karishma took great interest in the technique of using the grooming tools. Yesterday she was grooming Hira so hard that it is a wonder he had any hair left in that spot. But today... something clicked. She was so excited that she "groomed" everyone in the room and then supervised everyone else. She made sure that each person present groom every other person present. The clouds let down their load, so we kept practicing on each other.

THANK YOU ALL, who made donations of or toward grooming tools!!!!

Karishma has a new found gentleness! Read more about Karishma's story by clicking here.

I was sorry I didn't get any pictures of us grooming each other, but we were so caught up in Karishma's excitement, that I completely forgot.

- A fun day: Angie, Supna, Karishma*, Me and Laxmi* -

Day 5: Protection & Bottles

I was awaken this morning in the same fashion as the day before. Heard the two wake up calls (Hindu call to worship) but it was the knock on the door which got me out of bed. Our morning Chai was here. Doris went to open the bathroom's back door so that Rahjan could deliver our bath water.

We bathed and I attempted to blow dry my hair. In actuality I electrocuted myself, burned my hand and witnessed smoke and flame coming out of the electrical outlet. It was EXCITING. Then with wet hair I traversed across the courtyard to Ginny and Cathy's room to borrow their hair dryer.

Breakfast was the same as the day before. Quite good and filling. Well filling because Angela didn't want her egg so I was able to have two! Thanks Angela.

Mala picked us up after breakfast to give us a lift to Roja.

We spent an hour or so as a group talking about relationships. I loved the honesty that the roses (rescued girls) brought to the conversations. Their questions were raw and to the point. I think we Americans tend to "dance around the bush" and tend to hide what it is we are really trying to get at. Why? I'm not sure. But we like these rescued roses desire to know things about ourselves and life. We all want to know why things happen to us and what will happen to us in the future. But Laxmi and Karishma are not afraid to ask out right the questions that are unanswered in their hearts.

For lunch we headed to a cafe restaurant at a local hotel. It was a place that had "safe" food. As I later discovered safe meant it was cooked well and the water was filtered.

Most ordered different types of Dosas. They are a large sour dough type of crepe.

- Angela, Angie (behind camera), Supna and Cathy waiting for their orders-

- Rohi and Debbie enjoying their Dosa -
Rohi is Freedom Firm's full time counselor, and

Debbie, from Ireland, is Freedom Firm's funds director (or as she calls herself, the fun director)

Laxmi and I sat across from Debbie and Rohi. Laxmi told me some of her past. You can read a bit about her story by clicking here.

Afternoon rain showers prevented our horse assisted therapy from starting with the horse, Hira. As an introduction we discussed relationships with horses.

I'll give you a synopsis:
Horses are prey animals. They means for survival are to flee or to fight. Their eyes are set far apart to be able to survey a large expanse for danger. They have been given long legs and athletic bodies to run. They will only fight if they cannot run. The instinct is to run first and then figure out what the something that startled them was harmful.

People are predators. Our eyes are close together for focusing on what we desire. We boldly walk up to people or things we want. We have athletic bodies that are quite good at causing someone or something to come under its control. Our instinct is to boldly go after what we want and our will is not accomplished right off we implement force to aid our will.

A horse can be captured and forced to comply with our wishes. Many call this breaking a horse. By doing this you break not just their will but also their spirit. The horse no longer trusts people.

The aim at working with the horses is to develop skills that allow us to gain the horses trust and then be his leader. Horses feel safe when they trust a herd leader to keep an eye out for danger. They they are willing to follow the leader and do most anything that is asked.

Sorry I'm getting a little long here. I will make one last comment about animal assisted therapy and how I perceive it to be valuable to these roses.

A horse that is caught, saddled and ridden against his will is similar to a child being caught and raped. The horse and child learn great fear. The horse's and child's ability to trust becomes damaged.

So we started out on this journey to learn how to overcome a horses fears and gain its trust. It all begins by learning to communicate as horses do among their own kind. They primarily use body language that is reinforced with scratching, nuzzling, bites and kicks. The bites and kicks are not meant to beat up another, they are merely a horse's way of saying stay out of my space I MEAN IT. But mostly they seek to be friends and will scratch each others backs.

Today we learned about how to massage (scratch their backs) and how horses use pressure points to move each other around. First we practiced on each other with bottles, then we used a tool (long stick with a leather pad on the end) to mimic the touch of a human on a horse. The stick gives us the length that our upright bodies lack and that a horses naturally has.

Hira as we discovered is sensitive around his back legs, so the tool also kept us at a safe distance as he learned to enjoy our massaging.

- Mala and Angie practicing a nice rubbing technique with their bottles. -

The rain subsided and we were able to massage Hira.

- (l to r) Feni, Mala, Rohi, Laxmi, Doris, Angie, Cathy (can't see her), me (or my head & pink shirt), and the back of Supna with Hira-

- Rohi massaging Hira's chest -

- Cathy practicing her massaging and moving Hira with the pressure point on the chest -

By this point we have gained Hira's trust and are working on being good leaders.
- after the group played with Hira, Supna and I took care of his abscesses -
Hira was in the final stages of Strangles.
- On our way back to Mountabaun we saw these horses on the side of the road. They all belong to someone. They are just turned out on the street when they aren't being ridden. -

One last note on the day. During our discussion about horses and their flee instinct, Laxmi brought up their horse Jade. Jade came to them last year, but one day she spooked and ran. She ended up slipping on one of the steep slopes and fell 20 feet. The fall was such that she had to be euthanized. Laxmi was recalling this because she loved Jade and was afraid that if she let herself trust and love Hira that he too may leave her. We cried together, she for Jade and me for my first horse, Sable. I had related my story of loosing Sable. Others encouraged Laxmi to treasure the memories and relationship and not to deprive herself of future moments.

Day 4: Meet the Roses

The first Hindu call to worship woke me up this morning. It was at 4:30 am. It sounds like a severe weather siren. I fell back asleep and then was awaken by the second call to worship at 6:00 am. I dosed until I was awaken by a knock at the door for the delivery of our morning Chai. I'm rooming with Doris. She is from Oklahoma and is working to start a handicapped riding program near where she lives. Shortly after our tea our buckets of hot water were delivered for our morning bucket baths. The baths turned out to be much better than I was expecting.

Here is the room that Doris and I stayed in for most of the two weeks.

And here is our bathroom. Note: the sink drains down onto the floor. There is a drain at the back of the bathroom. When we take our baths, we fill our bucket of hot water with cold to the desired temperature. Then the water is poured over our body with a little pitcher. The water runs off our body onto the bathroom floor and then down to the drain. Actually works quite well and uses far less water I'm sure than our accustomed showers.

Okay, I have to tell one more story about the bathroom. Ever just spit your toothpaste right out onto the bathroom floor? Yeah, me neither. Any spit that was spat in the sink went down the drain and emerged on the floor beneath the sink then ran along the wall to the drain behind the toilet. Every morning and night I would watch the white toothpaste foam perform the series. I thought I could shorten its journey if I spat it directly on the floor, but I could not bring myself to do it. So every morning and evening I would start the journey of my toothpaste spit in the basin of the sink.

Breakfast consisted of a cream of wheat type cereal, poached egg and toast w/ mango jam and Chai.

-our breakfast dishes drying on the sidewalk in the sun-

After breakfast we gathered on some steps the form a plan for the day. Today is the day we get to meet the rest of the staff and the roses (rescued girls).

-Doris and Angie soaking in the sun-

-our first motor rickshaw ride; Cathy and me-

-gang climbing out of the motor rickshaws in front of Mala's house-

-Freedom Firm staff with one of Mala's lab puppies-

After we stopped by Mala's house we headed to Roja (the name of the aftercare home). There we met Karishma. She and some of the staff arrived safely back from the trial.

We sat together in the living room as a group and got to know one another. It was Doris, Angie, Cathy, Mala, Rohi, Sapna, Laxmi, Karishma, Fenni, Angela, Ginny, Mertha, and myself.

Horses: In the afternoon I began our lessons on horsemanship. We started it all off by talking about horses and their natural instincts. The discussion veered and we began talking about the experience with Jade, a rescued race horse that broke loose and fell down a steep slope. Her death left already wounded and hurting hearts in more sorrow.

Tonight I was able to pull out my laptop and write my first letter to everyone at home. Hopefully I'll get to send it in the next day or so.